5 Tips to Improve Your Relationship Management Skills
Author: Maurine Patten
Last Updated: 12/12/2009 11:59:40 AM
Summary
Relationship management becomes more important as you assume more professional responsibility. You need skills to build bonds, inspire, influence and develop others. All the while you need to be open to change, manage conflict and establish teamwork.
Article
Emotional Intelligence author Daniel Goleman believes it is
possible to build better relationships one step at a time.
This is accomplished by focusing on six competencies in the
Relationship Management domain of Emotional Intelligence:
1. Inspire
2. Influence
3. Develop
4. Initiate change
5. Manage conflict
6. Establish teams and collaboration
Let's look for some ideas about how to be successful in each of
these domains.
1. Inspiration often begins with a time of quiet
reflection about nagging questions. In the process of
examining feelings which include anxiety, confusion and passion,
often a vision becomes clear which helps to understand the larger
purpose or mission. For inspiration to truly happen, the
vision has to be spelled out to others in a compelling style.
In this way, others hopefully will "buy into" the ideas and
plan. Individuals who inspire others:
- Draw on the collective wisdom of others
- Involve others to look at the reality and the ideal vision
- Are able to connect with people's emotional centers as well as
intellectually.
2. Influence is one of the three ingredients of a
democratic leader. Teamwork and conflict management are the
other two ingredients and will be discussed later. Influence
also requires effectively handling others' emotions. You may
have been in situations where you influenced someone's mood, or
he/she influenced your mood. Individuals with a high level of
influence:
- Skillfully win people over by listening, networking wit them,
etc.
- Fine-tune what they are going to say to appeal to the
listener
- Willingly use a variety of strategies to build consensus and
support.
3. Developing others is a skill needed by managers who
supervise others and are responsible for the growth of employees in
their department or division. Individuals with a high level in
developing others:
- Acknowledge and reward people's strengths and
accomplishments
- Offer helpful feedback and accurately target needs for further
growth
- Mentor, coach, and offer tasks that challenge and foster a
person's skills.
4. Initiating change or being a change catalyst
consistently models the behaviors you want to see in others.
You begin by questioning the emotional reality and cultural
norms underlying daily activities and behaviors. How others feel
about the change process needs to be considered. Individuals
who are easily able to initiate change:
- Recognize the need for change
- Challenge the status quo
- Make compelling arguments for change
- Find practical ways to overcome barriers to change.
5. Managing conflict requires being able to understand
different perspectives and finding a common solution that everyone
can endorse. It requires good listening skills and
self-control. Individuals how have good conflict management
skills:
- Handle difficult people and tense situations tactfully
- Spot potential conflict and help de-escalate the situation
- Encourage open discussion
- Work for win-win solutions.
6. Teamwork and collaboration model respect, helpfulness
and cooperation. Both work and home are happier when these
conditions are met. When teams work well, turnover and
absenteeism decline and productivity increases. Individuals who
have strong teamwork and collaboration skills:
- Draw all members into active participation
- Build a team identity and commitment
- Protect the group and share credit.
It is now known that emotions are contagious. In addition,
every encounter with another person can be anywhere on a continuum
from emotionally toxic to nourishing.
In summary, to improve your relationship management skills, you
want people to be able to turn towards you rather than away or
against you. To have good relationship management skills you
need to use the following 5 tips:
1. Develop open, honest, trusting relationships.
2. Have self-respect and show respect to others, especially if
you are responsible for their development.
3. Have good communication skills including listening,
assertiveness and conflict management
4. Understand what a change process entails, and be willing to
lead people through it.
5. Be a good team member and encourage collaboration.
Being an effective manager not only makes you look good, it
improves the skills of those you supervise and makes them look
good. That is a "win-win" for everybody.
The Author
Maurine Patten, EdD. CMC, Achieve a Life Worth
Living
Mailto: mdpcoach@pattencoaching.com
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